The Tower of Ash
by LovelessFitch
Summary: Naomi has run away from Emily again, but this time she's left Bristol. Emily is completely heartbroken. Will they ever find each other again?
1. Chapter 1: Fuck You Naomi Campbell

Authors Notes: So, I'm fairly new at this whole Fan Fiction thing, certainly new to this website, so I'm sorry if its not the greatest formatting wise. Hell, even story wise. This Chapter is written from Emily's Perspective, the next will be from Naomi's etc. This is written as if Generation 2's last episode didn't happen. Again, my first real fan fiction, so go easy on me. Criticism is happily welcomed.

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Chapter One: Fuck You, Naomi Campbell**

I stand alone on my balcony, taking a long drag from a newly lit fag. Katie is asleep on the couch, so in addition to being hungover when she wakes up, she'll be stiff. It was early, I couldn't sleep, and rarely have. Not since Naomi left Bristol. I miss her like hell; she was the only thing that made me truly happy, even after she fucked Sophia. Sure, I was pissed, but trying to get back at her was the most painful thing I've had to endure.

I stare at the tower of ash building at the tip of my cigarette. I quickly flick it over the thick metal bar dividing me from the sidewalk below. I sigh as I think I see Naomi. Its been months since she decided she didn't want to be here anymore. What pains me is that she left because she was scared, even though I vowed to keep her safe that night in the forest.

_"Naomi?" Emily whispered to the girl lying at her side._

_ "Yeah?" Naomi replied, looking up at Emily's shadowed face as she sat her head on her shoulder._

_ "You know I love you, right?" Those words terrified Naomi. She didn't want to let anyone in, in fear of being destroyed. _

_ Naomi remained silent, and turned away._

_ Emily turned and stroked Naomi's blonde hair. "You know… I wouldn't hurt you." Emily moved herself closer to the trembling girl, and kissed the bear part of her neck. She wrapped one arm around her and said "I'd do everything I could to keep you safe, no matter what."_

_ Naomi's eyes began to tear as she put one hand over Emily's grip. She held tightly, too scared to let go. She knew Emily wouldn't hurt her, but she couldn't stop all of the fears and worries from flooding her mind. Emily kissed her shoulder and whispered a goodnight._

I walk into my bedroom, and stared at my laptop. I contemplate emailing her. _She'd probably ignore it, if she hasn't changed her email address. _I think to myself, _Besides, all I'd be able to write is repeated I miss you's and I love you's. Maybe a few please come back's._

Christ, its lonely being alone. I want to find her somewhere, wherever the hell it is she's run off to. When I'd find her, though, I don't know what I would do. Probably just breakdown in to tears, begging her to forgive me for whatever it is that I did to make her run off.

It's 9:30 now, and I'm staring at my sleeping sister. I'm jealous of her carelessness, she can just be without anyone else's help. I've lost that ability.

Fuck you, Naomi Campbell. Tears are flowing down my face, quickly. They feel like ice, I wish her hands were here to wipe them away. I walk back to my room and grab my laptop. Fuck it, even if she ignores it, at least I tried.

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**Subject Line:** Fuck You, Naomi Campbell.

_My lovely, lovely Naomi,_

_I miss you, I've hardly slept since you left. I haven't been able to do anything to get you off my mind. When I'm high your face becomes superimposed on every girl I see, and they're all yelling that you don't love me anymore. When I'm drunk, I can't stop crying. Though, that is true still when I'm sober._

_I wish you were here, more than anything, even if you didn't want me anymore. Just knowing that you're okay and that you're happy and being able to see you would be enough for me. But this? This is killing me. Its been months since we've talked and even longer since we kissed with actual love on our lips._

_Naomi, I'm sick of this. I know you ran because you're scared. I know you think that staying away from me is the answer, but its not. It just causes pain. For me, at least. And the Naomi I knew wouldn't want that. She'd want me to be happy and safe. She'd want me to laugh at her jokes and hold her hand. She'd be wiping away my tears as I write this, and I'd be wiping hers as she read it. She'd hold me until I fell asleep, before I get serious insomnia._

_I wonder what you're thinking as you read this. You've probably made some sarcastic remark out loud to fool yourself, but inside you want the same thing I do. Unless, that is, you left because you were done with this town, and me. In that case, I'm sorry for this._

_Christ, Naoms. I'm so lost right now. Please, just tell me what to do? I Need to know how to try to get on with my life, no matter how wrong it feels._

_I love you,_

_Emily.

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_

I Read over it, it sounds as rambled as I want it to. I want her to see what she's done to me.

"Eeeeemsyyyyy!" Katie yells from the living room. I Quickly hit send.

Fuck you, Naomi Campbell.


	2. Chapter 2:The Cheap Beer

Authors notes: Yes, I used the name Kathryn on purpose. And I apologize any of the money or anything is off, I'm not British.

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**Chapter Two: The Cheap Beer.**

**Naomi**

"Jesus Christ." I say as yet another man presses up against me on a busy subway. The pole I'm holding on to wasn't much of a support, but a quite literally pain in my chest. I'm in London, trying to make a living off of a nine to fiver at a near dead coffee shop. It's late, but I couldn't tell you what time it is to save my life. Its been hours since the shop closed, but I had been sitting there for a few hours for the peace. There's no such thing at the small, communal apartment I'm living at.

There are two other women, three cats, and a man and his son sharing 2 microscopic bedrooms and a tiny kitchen. The girls are lovely, Danielle and Kathryn. Danielle tries so hard to keep everything balanced, but she never can. She has crying fits when things don't go right, and I seem to be the only one who'll help her out.

Kathryn reminds me of Emily, so much that it's painful. Her dress is different, but that's practically the only physical difference I can find. Her hair is darker, and she's slightly taller and thinner. She's not Emily. I have to keep telling myself that.

I've been lost, so lost since I left Bristol. I've been trying to start over completely, but its so fucking hard when I can't stop worrying about Emily. I wonder if she's alright, if she's fairing without me.

Fuck, her mom must feel victorious. She kept telling Ems that I'd only fuck her up. Christ, I hate that bitch. I feel bad for the fitches. I mean, Katie, Rob, Ems… They all have to put up with that psychotic bitch. Maybe something happened to her; maybe she's become a vegetable.

I'm laughing to myself, out loud. People are staring, some are laughing at me, and the crazies are laughing with me. I decide I don't want to go home quite yet, so I'm getting off at the next station.

The train screeches, and I step off the train after nearly getting pushed onto some business man's lap. I'm sure he would have liked that. I've never seen much of London, just the area I work and live in. I take the escalator up to the streets, its dark. I peek into a shop window to see what time it is, 12:48. Christ, it's a lot earlier than I thought. I dig my hand into my bags outside pocket, trying to decipher how much money I have on me from my tips. I finger apart a few One pound coins from the rest of the change. I count about 7. I feel a few bills, and pull them out along with the coins.

"27 Pounds." I sigh. I try to find a near by bar, but I'm completely lost. I hate London, I miss Bristol. Old, familiar, home Bristol. But I couldn't go back. Not after all that's happened, not after abandoning everyone. I don't think I could face everyone. I kind of wish Freddie was still alive; I think I actually had a friend in him. Everything seemed a little bit easier before he died, and even easier before college. I'm wandering the dark uptown streets.

I finally find a decent looking bar, I walk in. I order a pitcher of their cheapest beer. I sit at the empty two-seat table near the door. After a glass and a Half, I see my room/bed-mate Kathryn walking through the doors of the seedy bar. I wave her over, smiling. I don't know her that well, so I decide we'd acquaint ourselves over a few pitchers of beer.

"You hear alone?" I ask her as she stits at the other side of the small table.

"Yeah, I had real shitter of a day. I figured I could drink myself into the arms of some stranger." She laughs absently, "But hey, you're here. Maybe you could make me feel better."

"Maybe, but I've had a shit day too." I sip my cheap, cheap beer, "We might need to cheer each other up."

"Yeah." She sets her hand under her chin and smiles at me. She's staring thirstily at my nearly full glass.

"Its cheap, but you want some?" I ask her. She nods, "I'll go get you a glass then." I rush myself over to the bar tender, asking for an empty glass. I'm glad Kathryn ended up here tonight. I've been so alone in London. I reach the table to find her drinking from my glass.

"Thirsty, were you?"

"Heh, yeaaaaaah." She breathes, only hardly taking the glass from her lips. "Keep that one, you know, for you."

I laugh at her quietly. "Of course." I stare at her through the dim lighting, analyzing her face. She looks too much like Em, I have to get out. I can't let this happen.

"So, I don't think I know a thing about you, Naomi." She begins fingering the tips of her hair, but not flirtatiously. "Well, I mean, I know your name and shit. I know you work at a coffee shop and that you give a fuck about politics, but that's it. I don't even know where you came from."

"My mum, clearly." I reply immaturely.

"S'not what I Meant." She sipped her beer. "Christ, this shit is cheap isn't it?"

"Sorry, I'm kinda short on cash." I gulp mine. "Living of of two pound tips, y'know?"

She laughs. "You never answered my question, Naomi."

"Well, Kathryn, I'm from Bristol. That satisfy you?" Hello, sarcastic exterior. Its been a while, hasn't it?

"No, it doesn't. I Do honestly want to make an effort to know you." She sighs, "You seem… alone."

Memories of Emily saying similar things are rushing through me.

_I know you, Naomi. I know you're lonely._

It's as if she was whispering it in my ear. "Well, I'm not very good at making friends."

"What about a boyfriend?"

"Try again, I'm gay." I think that was the first time I was able to just say it like that. Congratulations, Kathryn, you've opened me with very little effort. Maybe it's the cheap beer. "And I had one, but I ran away."


	3. Chapter 3: Salvaged Coffee

_Authors notes: Sorry it took so long to get this up, I've been on a family vacation since the day after I posted Naomi's first chapter. I wrote most of this in the back of the car from Wisconsin to Illinois, and finished on the way back to my native town. Naomi's chapter is coming very soon. And As always, sorry for any (geographical) inaccuracies. PS. Mondragon is actually my favourite café in my city, but I very rarely get to go. Their Chai lattés are orgasmic. I apologize for my lack of originality(Feel Free to disagree.)_

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**Chapter Three: Salvaged Coffee**

**Emily**

"Emsyyy..." Katie groans again.

"Told you." I say coldly.

"Well, I told you she'd fuck you up." Katie hisses. And to think I had just stopped crying. Katie looks up at me, seeing the tears welling up in my brown eyes. "Ems... I Didn't..." She grabs my hand before I try to leave. Katie has grown up so much since Freddie's death; she's been trying to take care of me. Last night, though, was our birthday. So, being the old Katie for a day, she drank enough to almost pass out.

Me? I took one shot of tequila, and a bottle of beer. I don't think I would have been able to drink more, because of... Well, you know, the whole Naomi's-face-superimposing thing.

"It's alright, Katie." I sigh, "Coffee, yeah?"

"Yeah, thanks."

I drag my feet to our tiny kitchenette to make Katie a pot of coffee. I Stare at the coffee maker, it hasn't been cleaned in months. I open the glasses cupboard in hopes of finding some instant coffee salvaged from a hotel somewhere. I Look through the mugs only to find the mug Naomi always used. It's light blue with a hand painted picture of a triangle of cheese, as well as a lobster on it. I made it for her in reference to a chalk board conversation back when I stayed at her house. She loved it.

I pull it out, because I remember hiding the instant coffee in there. I Grab a Non-descript white mug out for Katie. She looks like shit today, but I don't blame her.

"Katie, I think I'm going to go out. Maybe get some groceries, look at some record shops." I say finishing my coffee.

"Alright, just... Don't do anything stupid, Okay? I'd be totally fucked if something happened to you." Katie says laying limp on the couch.

I ride my moped to the quieter part of downtown. There are lots of bakeries and cafés, a fairly trendy area. I love it here, almost as much as I love as the little lake-clearing where me and Naomi first... Maybe I'll just go to a record store and a cafe, and then drive down there. Hopefully it's Therapeutic, yeah?

New theory records is my favourite shop in town, they have exactly what I want every single time I go. Today I'm thinking London Calling by the Clash on Vinyl. I could really go for The Right Profile. That song's fucking amazing.

I look through the packed bins of vinyl LPs. I'm glad that Naomi left her record player; she knew I loved it more than she ever did. My hands freeze, I bite my lip hard. I see someone who looks just like her, and she's staring at me. I look up to see her smiling. "Can I Help you?"

"You're new here, yeah? I've never seen you before." I must have sounded upset when I said that, because her smile disappeared. "Sorry, I just..."  
"Yeah, I'm new, I might not know my way around the store completely yet, but I could try and help." She doesn't pause between her words; How un-Naomilike, "If not, maybe you could help me."

"Help you?" I ask laughing quietly under my breath, "And how could I do that?"

"Well, I just moved to Bristol. I don't quite know anyone yet. Maybe we could have coffee or something." Her smile bravely returns, "My name's Sara."

"Emily. And sure, when do you get off?" I reply smiling a little bit.

"I get off for my lunch break in an hour and a half, you free?" Her brave smile grew braver.

"Of course. I'll pick you up here, yeah?" I offer

"Sure." Her eyes were green, also very un-Naomilike. "Um, thanks, Emily. I'm not the greatest at making friends."

"Well, as I told my friend JJ, if you want something, ask for it." I go back to searching the bins of vinyl. Finally finding what I wanted I go up to the cashier.

I get out quickly and mount my brilliant orange moped. God, how I love this machine, it's really fucking loyal. It's like the puppy I never had. It's the one thing that hasn't changed since I bought it. I've been thinking of painting some decal-type things on it, to beautify it beyond the stickers.

I take the scenic route to the small grocery store. It cost a bit more, but it's worth it. Everything but the frozen goods is very fresh and often hand-picked by the store managers. I grab the ingredients for my special pizza crust. I figure I could surprise Katie tonight, maybe we'll have an un-drunken good time.

I spend about thirty minutes in the herbs and spices area, trying to figure out just what I want in the sauce. I'm sure by now Sara is waiting for me, or at least will be soon. I go through the check out as quickly as possible, If I missed anything I'd just come back.

Just as I thought, Sara is standing outside New Theory. She smiles when she sees a wisp of my hair sticking out of the orange helmet. I still wore the goggles Naomi gave me. I stop right in front of the shop's doors. "Hey." I hold out the other helmet for her.

"Hey." She takes it, "Moped?"

"Yeah, problem?" I Laugh.

"Kind of. I'm not sure how to... Get on." She blushes. Christ, she's so like Naomi, but so... unlike her. It's confusing. Maybe... maybe this was a bad idea.

I explain to her, and after a few tries she gets on correctly. She wraps her arms around my waist and I drive us to a little known cafe called Mondragon.


	4. Chapter 4: Dirty Water

**Authors Notes: Please, Please excuse this poorly written chapter. I seem to be more into Emily's storyline, and I'm trying to push Naomi's a little further a little faster. Never the less, I hope you like it. I Also would like to apologize for how painfully short my chapters are, and how long it takes me to get them up.  
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Chapter 4: Dirty Water**

**Naomi**

"Oh, well then, there's two more facts I know about Miss Naomi Campbell now." She laughs. I was starting to notice her accent, it's different. I think its Scottish.

"I pushed her away." My mood is shifting faster than ever.

"You fell in love back in Bristol, and because you pushed them away everything got fucked up." She smiles triumphantly and confidently.

I swirl the yellowy liquid in my glass. I know I want someone to know, but I just... I just want to put it behind me. What the fuck. Here, Kathryn, you asked.

"Yeah, a girl named Emily. She had this... this hold on me. I was to fucking scared of what she was capable of doing that I just pushed her away. I slept with a girl named Sophia to sort of spite her, but then Sophia... well, she killed herself at a club, after taking MDMA that I was sort of involved in selling her. At that point Emily and I were happy, but I was still fucking terrified. Emily took it upon herself to search Sophia's room, only to find photos and drawings of me and her all over the room," I laugh quietly, "And later a Locker-Shrine. I fucked a stalker, basically. She went through my rubbish and stole a fucking toothbrush for christ sakes." I stop realizing that Kathryn is laughing so hard she might just fall off her seat.

"Sorry, it's just... that hilarious!" she said gasping for air. "But... it's really, really not."

"Yeah, I know." I said laughing a little bit.

"I wouldn't mind hearing more."

"Really?" I say really, truly surprised. I honestly didn't think anybody would actually give enough of a fuck to want to hear my story. "Well then, after that... Sophia's brother-slash-Emily's accomplice showed her Sophia's picture diary. She was up on the roof of the club where Sophia... Anyway, she was standing on the ledge, reading through it. She said that everything is so fragile, and that we were 'special.' Then she tried to get back at me by dating this giant named Mandy. But she couldn't bring herself to actually do anything.

"Then... well, then was Effy's getting out of the mental institute and Freddie being killed by her therapist. Oh, Effy and Freddie were... literally puzzle pieces that fit together. True love, I think. They were our friends. On Freddie's birthday, there was a sort of tribute-party in his shed. That's where I confessed everything to Emily. A month and a half later, right before we were supposed to go to Goa, I ran away. I was... too scared. So here I am, alone in London, having a drink with a girl I hardly know and I'm totally lost within myself. I need... help."

I feel Kathryn's eyes dance around my face and body, "What... what kind of help?" She leans in towards me. I know what she's thinking, but I can't. She looks too much like Emily, and I don't want to feel like I'm still in love with Emily... Even if I am. "Because... I wouldn't mind helping you get over her."

Just to double check, "And how would you do that?"

"Well, I could help you find someone else. Or even be that someone else for a night or two." She replies, allowing her eyes to dance again. The way she was talking... it was like verbal foreplay. Christ, its just one night. Maybe it actually would help me on this recovery. Maybe.

"I like the second option, as long as we keep it mindless, yeah?"

"Sure." I She downs the rest of her drink.

"Easy now. I didn't mean I'm good, let's fuck. I meant…"

"You lied."

"Huh?"  
"You _don't_ want it to be mindless. You want it to be _her_." How the fuck can she do that? First, she tears through me, getting me to confess all about Emily. Now she can read me just like that? It's amazing.

"No, I don't. I want it to be you." I smirk hiding the truth that she clearly knew. I did want it to be Emily, but it can't be her. She hates me, I'm sure. I mean, after all I've done to her how could she still love me? "But let's, um, hang out a bit first. Have a few more drinks?"

"Sure." She smiles. She was a little different than Emily. Emily would have kept defying me; she would have gotten me to the truth. Like what happened with Sophia. We spend some time drinking and talking about where we were before we came to London, about our past.

Kathryn's from a ridiculously un-populated town in Scotland called Lennoxtown. She lived alone with her father, because of a horrid divorce between him and her mom. She fell in love for the first time when she was thirteen, a boy named Josh. Her and Josh stayed together for two years, it ended the night they decided to have sex. That's also when she realized she liked girls and only girls. Since then, she'd been with a handful of diverse girls that she met trying to find a new place to call home. She left the day after her eighteenth birthday. She's been traveling for 6 years. Christ I'm jealous. I can't afford it.

"London just felt right, you know? I haven't really met anyone I could in my two years here though." She laughed.

Its now 2:20, the bar is closing and we're walking together down the street.

"So, where shall we go?" Kathryn asks, grabbing my hand. "I Mean, we can't go home because of Danielle."

"Actually, Danielle left this morning. She's visiting her sister in Oxford. We have our room to ourselves." I tried so hard to sound alluring through my slight drunken slur. Tonight would cleanse me with mud.


End file.
